I’m have a broken heart and it seems that people are not reading my blog correctly. I care more about losing this last 30 to 40 pounds then I do about Todd. I would say that I was used and lied too. He broke my heart but has yet to take blame for any of it. I don’t think that he has ever cared about me at all. I thought that he was someone special and that I could trust him. I told him secrets that no one had heard. I gave him my soul and he took it for granted.
Now I am back focused on losing this weight and getting my life back in order. I don’t like the way I look and I am making the choice to change it for my health. After a breast cancer scare last year I felt that it was time to get things in gear and do what I needed to do to prolong my life. I want to be healthy and like the way I look. In my 40 years of like I can count on one hand how many times that I have liked the way I looked when I walked out the door.
I won’t lie that I am hurting still everyday very much but it’s not what I am obsessed about. I have given up on Todd because he gave up on me. He stopped caring so did I. He doesn’t want me then that’s his loss, I have people who want me around, that enjoy what I bring into their lives. I’m not perfect by any means but I can’t just pick up the pieces overnight and fix something that I don’t know how to fix. I’m grateful that you came into my life and gave me some happiness or what I thought was happiness.
I’m doing my best to trust my faith that my HP will come through for me when life is tough. I’m scared and wonder what else is going to happen. I’m just trying to live for today and not for tomorrow or for yesterday. I can only be me and if you can’t accept that, then I am sorry.