It seems like all of my moments with Todd have been lost now. I can hold onto the memories but I will never get to have anymore moments like I had before. I constant think about what we could have done together and all the things that I should have done with him. I fear that my time with Todd is gone forever but know that maybe it is for the best. I know that if he cared the way that he said that he did he wouldn’t have left.
It still hurts knowing that he stopped fighting for me. My mind is so fuzzy and I don’t feel good. I feel guilty for coming home from work yesterday but after having two sneezing fits and feeling like I was going to hurl I thought it was time to come home. I don’t feel any better today. My head is starting to throb. When I reflect on part of my time with Todd, I think that he has taken part of my heart with him.