To all of those who read my blog and that care for me, this one is for you. I know that it comes across as I am hurting and that I am but I don’t think death is in my near future. Despite the pain that sparks my writing I don’t feel that I will be taken anytime soon.
I won’t lie, I spend time thinking about all of you and work. I do love my job and not being there as much as I want to be as thrown me a curve ball. Writing this blog helps me face my demons head on and I know that I am not alone.
My friends in OA give me a support that I can’t explain because I know that they understand my troubles. To my family that also loves me unconditionally but part of me tells me that you have blinders on to what I am feeling and that you just want what’s best for me.
Its 4 in the morning and I can’t sleep so that’s why I am writing this. Going to my Wednesday night OA meeting was a breathe of fresh air and seeing faces that remind me to breathe and that I will make are what keep me going.
The love of my family reminds me that I have made it this far and I still have strength to keep going. My love for Michael and T are why I haven’t given up and keep fighting.
Letting go and giving it to God is hard but I am just hope that he leads me to where I want to be. Just know that this blog helps me face the tough times and that I’m not going down without a fight.