holiday weekend, love missed

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It’s been about a week since we started talking again but I am getting grief at home about it. My thought that is if I am happy then that should be all that matters. I may never be what I want to be with him but I am his friend at least. He is spending the weekend with his kids and brother. He talked to me before I left for work yesterday but I wasn’t able to see him since he wasn’t home. I miss him but he is happy and that’s all that matters to me.

I couldn’t even sleep in this morning because I am so used to getting up early for work. I didn’t even make it to my OA meeting this week because I am broke out on my face from something but don’t know what from. I’m trying to stay positive despite all the things that are against me. I’m trying not to focus on what is going wrong but what is going right. I want to be with him but I have to go at his pace and not my own. I wonder if he has told his kids about me.

I won’t lie that I am still heartbroken over him despite the friendship. Being an emotional wreck is making my weight bump up and down which stresses me out. I am trying to accept life on life’s terms even though I want more. I try not to go to the Starbucks that we used to go the one that he goes too because it just brings back memories.

I wish everyone a wonderful holiday weekend.

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