On Thursday morning my life seem to come to a complete stop. The man that I had fallen in love with had unfriended/blocked me on Facebook and I was instantly crushed. Every time I try to breathe it hurts and there are times when I feel like someone is sucking the air right out of me. I have been through pain before but not like this, this even hurts worse then when my brother died. On top of that he is coming back to the same branch that I work at so we will have to see each other from time to time. When I think of the times that I have spent with him, I smile and try to hold onto those memories.
I pushed into sending him a goodbye letter that I never wanted to do but had too. Now I know why he is gone but I was hoping that I was good enough to keep around. I miss being in his arms and hearing his talk. He always made me smile and I felt like I had it all with him. I miss talking to him on Facebook and seeing him.
My husband has pushed me away and I don’t think that things can be saved but if I leave, I have nowhere else to go. He doesn’t care about his health or doing what he can to improve things.
I keep hoping for a friend request from him but it hasn’t happened. My friends tell me that he is an idiot but that doesn’t make me feel any better. There is nothing I can do but pray for something to happen. I pray he comes back and wants to try things. I love him unconditionally but know that it doesn’t matter. I keep waiting for my heart to clasp from the pain.