Friends gone

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My heart is broken beyond repair. The man that I had fallen for which I thought was a real friend. I have pushed him away only to have him keep coming back. Even now it seems like he won’t go away and I am doing my very best to not speak to someone who keeps hurting me.

I just started OA a little over a month ago and I have been facing my daemons. Part of me is trying to face reality and the other half of me just wishes I was lying alone in a ditch somewhere dead. I am doing all I can not to sit down and binge. I blame myself for all the things happening and there is no repair in my heart.

While I am writing this I keep going back and forth to Facebook only to see that he is on but I wonder if he is waiting on me to speak to him.

In my eyes my relationship with my husband is done but I seem to be worried more about the other man than man that I just lost.

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