Love, a sticky mess


Betwen working on my weight loss/lifestyle change there has been a lot going on in my life. My husband has congestive heart failure which means so much more than a diet change. He is in the process of getting his foot removed because of a diabetic ulcer that wont go away.

With all this going on, I have gotten close to his best friend but the person that I am I am trying to push him away from me. I adore this man, he is funny, charming, and something that I miss. Things have been pushed around so much that I don’t know what’s going on and if I’m coming or going. My heart has been to the shredder and I spend more of the time in tears because I feel like I have ruined things with my husband and with him.

Since the begining of January I have lost a total of 23 pounds and trying to stick with a healthy lifestyle. I’m supposed to be excited and happy for these things but I just want to give up. I just wish that we could go back before things changed but then again, I can’t change the fact is that he is a friend and I still care for him.

This wound is deep and going to OA (Overeater Anonymous) helps but I still feel like I’m stuck in my own world. I feel like the village idiot and just wish that I could wake with a new life without my heart hurting so bad.


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